Day 23 - Letting Go of Dreams

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell

A friend of mine received some bad news today. Not life-threatening news, but certainly news that could change the direction of her life. Here’s a sampling of the kind of news that has the potential to change your life: “You’re fired.” “I want a divorce.” “We’re moving.” “Find another publisher.” And so on… This kind of news can deflate a beautiful balloon of dreams in an instant, leaving it flat on the floor.A quick search on the Internet about letting go of dreams turns up a myriad different ways to say, “Hang on to your dreams…Follow your dreams to success!” And, indeed, there are times when we need nothing more than a hefty boost of encouragement to keep going. It’s trickier to know when to let go of dreams. Entrepreneurs live in the tension of deciding when to hang on and when to let go.This past year, I found myself in the midst of two entrepreneurial ventures that I needed to let go for various reasons. It was agonizing. I had invested considerable effort and money into both of the ventures and I still had dreams for them. If I let go of these, would something else as interesting come my way? I didn’t see anything on the horizon. What if I could just work harder, would the dreams become a reality? In the end, for one of my ventures, I was able to merge with another organization and it has given both organizations wings to soar. (I like the ending to that story!) In the case of the other venture, I have let it go emotionally, but practically, it continues to languish waiting for a decision how to shut it down. In any case, the letting go part is over. The dreams for what it could have been are done.It’s easier when things are cut and dried like that; much harder when you’re letting go of dreams for a baby, a spouse, a family member’s health, or your own health. Sometimes the things we dream for are not under our control. We can dream of a beautiful wedding day and a lifetime of togetherness, but it requires that someone else has that same dream with us. We can dream of a beautiful, healthy family but if a child has a learning disability or autism, we have stepped into a different reality than the life of which we had dreamed. Oh, it’s so painful. In our head we understand we must embrace the beauty that IS and let go of the beauty we had wanted, but our hearts break in the process.Letting go of dreams feels like a death and it does break our heart open. It is in this very breaking of our hearts that we become vulnerable enough to trust God. Trusting God does not guarantee our dreams will be reinstated, or even that a new dream will come our way. Trusting God simply means that, our broken heart is being held with all the tenderness of one whose heart has also been broken. Letting go of dreams is an invitation for us to dance with a God who has also let go of a dream. As we dance, we begin to imagine, together, what it might look like to dream again. Dare we? Dare we dream again? What if…. What if I have to let go of that dream too? Then, there is another dance…a better, sweeter dance…in another place…with the same loving partner.

There are far better things ahead than any we may leave behind. ~ C.S. Lewis