Day 37 - Letting Go of the Future

It is an enormously radical attitude toward life…to give up control over our future and let God define our life. ~Henri Nouwen

I’m a planner. If you are not “that” person, you probably know someone who is! These are the people who want to know the details of events and are likely the very people planning the event! I plan parties, travel, board meetings, corporate events, and tomorrow.   When I plan overseas board meetings, I take the time to travel to the location and understand the logistics and the space. I want to make sure I know how long and it will take to get from the airport to the hotel. I want to know which hotel has the best space for the particular meeting. I think about whether the hotel is too big for our small group to feel intimate, or too small for everyone to stay together. I consider the technological aspects of each possible venue to make sure I choose a venue that will serve the group. I ask about the weather during the upcoming time of year. If possible, I actually travel during that season! I find restaurants and activities that will be conducive to creating an environment in which the business of the meetings can be smoothly accomplished while enhancing the communal and personal enjoyment of each individual. In short, I like to control the plans!While this is a responsible attitude towards event planning, sometimes we want to make plans for our life in the same way. We dream and plan for our future spouse. We want to plan the number and timing of having children. We want to control the successful future of our children by making sure we get them into the right preschool. We expect that if we can save $XXXX amount, we can safely retire. We figure if we eat a certain way, all our physical infirmities will slide away. We follow the rules of spirituality and believe we will, in some way, be blessed. How’s that working for you? It hasn’t worked so well for me.It seems every time I make a life plan, God redirects with a different plan. Do you have this same experience??  I have found God’s plan to be better on many occasions. To be honest, I’m still wondering about God’s plan on a few items, but that is not my topic today. Today, I want to talk about the things that have not yet happened. The future.How do we let go of the future? I think the prayer that Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane is informative. Jesus knew he was about to die, covered with the sin of all humanity and, in so doing, be separated from the Father. He expressed his agonizingly tender desire to the Father to not let it be so. Please, Father, take this cup away from me. The desire is expressed in brutal honesty, wishing for an alternate future. We’ve all prayed this prayer at some point in our life. Please, God, not this…not now…please change what looks like the future will be. This was not my plan! Our spirits compel us to cry out to God. As we do, we somehow and mysteriously share in the suffering of Jesus. But, instead of Jesus taking control of his future by calling a million angels to whisk him to safety, he let go of his future and put it directly into the Father’s hands. “Not my will, but yours be done.” By detaching from controlling his future, he deeply attached to the Father even when it was clear it would involve suffering and death. Jesus prayer was honest, but he prayed with open hands. He prayed with “holy indifference.”I first heard about the concept of “holy indifference” from Ruth Haley Barton in her book Pursuing God’s Will Together. I have since heard about it in various contexts, but the idea is that when we come to a decision point in life, and we begin to pray about it, we must learn to pray with indifference. Indifference, in this case, is different from apathy. Holy indifference is a detachment from our own plans and an attachment to the plans of God. It is a posture of active waiting on God and being totally abandoned to God’s will.As we journey into Holy Week and consider Jesus’ model of holy indifference as he prayed in the Garden, may we also enter into that same, humble attitude of trusting God for our future.